As good as tour pros are, they inevitably end up in bunkers.
Now, leaving aside that I’ve worked for players who said it was my fault every time this happened, here are some classic on-course complaints.
“I knew I could reach that one.” You couldn’t but (a) you deliberately smashed that and (b) it’s bounced hard
right off that downslope and rolled 30 yards.
“I knew we’d finish here.” Here being the opposite side of the fairway from where we were aiming, right through to “I knew that wasn’t carrying.” It would have had you hit it anywhere near the centre of the face.
When you do end up in one, as the caddie, you’re hoping for a number of things as you walk up to said bunker. Firstly, you’re hoping that the colleague who was last in there has raked the bunker properly – or on some tours where professional caddies aren’t mandatory, that it’s even been raked at all.
Because there’s nothing worse than an easy bunker shot becoming an impossible one because the last person in there hasn’t taken the time to do a proper rake job. When you first start caddying on tour, how to rake a bunker properly is something you learn pretty quickly because it’s a different level from even the best rake job you’ll see at your home club, believe me, and pretty much as close to how the greenkeepers would have it in the morning as possible.
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If you don’t do a good job, then when Mr Grumpy behind ends up in your badly raked footprints, your player’s getting a €1000 fine from the tour as laid out in the Players’ Handbook for this offence which he’ll pass onto you, as that’s part of your job, not his.
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But assuming the bunker has been perfectly raked, the second thing you’re hoping is that the ball is sitting well enough to allow him to get it somewhere near the green (so please don’t be under the lip), or it’s an easy up-and-down (please don’t be on the downslope) because remember, it’s your fault he’s in there in the first place.
However, not even a properly raked bunker can occasionally stop a golf ball from plugging and that’s the third thing you’re hoping for. In this case, it’s likely to induce some form of woe-is-me head-off from your player which is amusing if you’re watching it as another caddie in the group, but less so if it’s your player having it.
Usually, the reason it’s plugged is there’s too much sand in the bunker for the very exacting standards and expectations of your average tour player, and therefore not your fault as the caddie, but we still have to listen to the inevitable tantrum/venting which, in my experience, is really just a dress rehearsal for what he’s going to say to the Tournament Director once we’ve finished. Just without the shouting and red-faced anger. Bless.
But irrespective of whether the bunker you’re in has been well-raked or badly raked, or whether the ball is plugged or sitting perfectly, then the next bit is all down to him. And yes, we might get the blame for that too.
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